BeefCakes

I bring you a container meant to store a meal for consumption, usually at work or school...
Also known as a lunch pail or lunch bag...

THE LUNCHBOX. 

This is an epic invention, and one of the most significant parts of returning to school each year. Say why? Well because you get to pick out a cool new one and make all your friends jealous... duhhhh. Just kidding? Okay... so maybe now the lunchbox is just a little passé, but it used to be the highlight of my fall season (seriously). This was around the same time that I would have simply died for a pair of velcro light-up barbie sneakers and a Baskin Robbins' Ice Cream Maker (yo parentals, still waiting on those for Christmas gifts?! stop depriving me). But they come in so many shapes and sizes, with so many designs. Need a lunchbag with a box in the bottom to keep your sandwich from squishing? CHECK. Need one with a cooler-bag so your juice box doesn't get all gnarly and room temperature and disappoint the hell out of you when you're counting on that "cold refreshing post-recess game of wall ball" drank? Uh.. CHECK. (Side note: Yes, I said "drank". Blame T-Pain... he is corrupting my vocabulary. Damn you auto-tuner for popularizing such a wank). They're just the perfect combo of utility and coolness. I used to strut to school with my lunchbox proudly in hand. But then that miserable day came, probably around grade 7, when carrying a lunch box was undeniably UNFORGIVABLE. For the record, I seem to have missed this "cut-off" when lunchboxes essentially converted to the nerdiest thing you could possibly carry, as I distinctly remember being made fun of (bite me, bullies). And now-a-days when I go to work I just slap all my food in an eye-sore of a plastic bag. Yeah, the kind you get from Super Store (ew). I'm not really sure why cool lunchboxes were ever dubbed uncool anyways. I think people became overly self-conscious somewhere in that child development process that they were too awkward and uncomfortable feeling to to carry the amazing Elmo tin case that ever so faithfully held all their daily nutritional needs. Alas, I shall continue to shamefully stuff my plastic bag into my purse each day, but let it be known, if I didn't care at all what people thought, I'd be sporting this bad boy proudly:

Okay, sue me; I adore these dorks from Saved by the Bell.